Estoy Chata. (I’m annoyed, or I’m sick of this.)
Just kidding, that’s not very Christ-like, but in all reality it wasn’t the best day, & really all I can say is that if i wasn’t LDS I would be Evangelical because those people sing the best songs.
The work in Independencia struggled again this week as we didn’t get to leave the house much at all. It’s been difficult with the uncertainty, to make and keep appointments, & to have someone accompany us, but we have a plan, & with some work this week should be better.
We’re still working with Familia Barrientos and hoping to see some progress this week. Our other investigators are doing well & so is Hermana Fabiola, but these two daughters are really progressing.
As for my health, it’s much the same if not a little worse. I’d like to say, it doesn’t matter, let’s go to work, but I honestly cannot do everything I need to, or want to because I’m trying to be obedient but I’m half grounded to the house.
I had another appointment with Doctor Gomez today, and I’m sure you heard that we thought we discovered the answer. I was so excited when she told me I could work again I hugged the doctor. The blood results came back and my calcium level was severely low, so low she was shocked and had Hermana B (the mission nurse) take me to the Emergency Room right away. She asked them to check the number just because it was so low, thinking they would hospitalize me for about a week and then put me on a supplement for for what she thought I had… hypocalcimia, a problem in the parathyroid where the body doesn’t absorb the calcium you eat and seeps it from your bones. She was worried because I showed her that my hands have lost some function, I need help walking, & I’ve been fainting. She thought it had started affecting my other body systems, so along with the blood work she ordered and EKG to check my heart. All was well, I was happy because we had an answer, the ER doctor was convinced it was a calcium deficiency (everyone was, actually), and all was well until he came in again and told me the first blood test was false and my calcium levels are fine. *tears*
Doctor Gomez said it’s not anemia, I’m not diabetic, & the rest of the results are normal with my blood. All of this is good, but also disappointing because I was so happy when I thought she had found the answer. I would’ve stayed in that hospital room for a month if it meant I could leave able to work hard again.
And so I’m not sure where this leaves us, & I’m so confused. I just do not understand. The doctors think the next step is to visit a nerurologist because something could be wrong with a nerve in my brain, but aside from that, we’re out of answers for now. So I’ll keep calling everyone in our carpeta (area book) & teaching lessons, & leaving as much as possible, but please know I am sorry for this desafio (weakness). I didn’t choose this & I’m not sure what’s happening to me, but I want nothing more than to work my hardest here. I love Chile & I love being a missionary.
But life is not a wish granting factory, and all I can do is accept. I cannot change the plan, just accept it, & sing the Evangelical song…
“Lord, I’m grateful for my life, for thy sacred sacrifice. For my heartaches, for my tears, for the joy through all the years, & I, I want to thank you for everything. I want to thank you for everything & so I’ll sing, I’m grateful… Lord, I’m grateful…”
How ironic, that my first week here I shed tears because I didn’t know if I wanted to stay, & now I’m petrified that I can’t. I sure don’t want to leave this place.
I don’t know what’s going to happen. I don’t know if I’ll be home in a week, or a month, or 15 months (praying it’s the last one), but I love you, & I love the Gospel, & I will always, always love Him.
I hope that if I have to wear my black name plaque on my heart instead of my sweater you’ll accept me all the same, because I’d be heartbroken. & really it’s no different. Every member a missionary, right? Just a little different mission. This is my testimony.
The only thing I can think of is “Love Life & See Good Days”. 1st Peter 1:10. “For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile.”
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to find a tissue box.
Hermana Holt
P.S. I totally have pictures of the I.V. in my arm because it was awesome. Also, just so you know, the doctor was telling me I had to go to the ER right away, that it could not wait any longer. So we went, but we stopped at Subway first. Priorities.
Pictures: Three months, taxi rides, a pack of dogs, & a one man band.



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