Hey, hey, hey, it’s another day!
Thank you to all who write me & keep me updated about your lives. It means so much to open my account & hear from some of my favorite people in the world. My little heart sure holds a lot of love for all of you.
A few things…
Christmas here was good. We were privileged to be part of a live fireside from Provo by Elder David A. Bednar & it was so uplifting to hear his insights into the Gospel. We also got to watch David Archuleta Christmas & that was such a blessing because I’ve really missed Christmas hymns in English. My gift to myself was memorizing Moroni 10:4-5.
On Christmas day there was a huge fire on the hill right outside the CCM wall & for about an hour they thought we might need to evacuate. Most of the mountain is black now.
This week was a hard one, but a good one, & because time is so limited here, I apologize for my frantic thoughts.
This week was difficult because of a few reasons.
I think I have an ear infection & possibly a cold. I’ve just been coughing a lot & feeling yucky. I guess there are just a lot of germs here.
Spanish beats me to the ground & reminds me I’m less than the dust of the earth literally 50 times a day or more.
But the thing that was really weighing heavily on my mind was my own heart and desires. I’ve been asking Heavenly Father for some answers, direction, & comfort in my life, and, as is the way, it didn’t come at first; “for your witness shall not come until after the trial of your faith”. I was getting frustrated, trying to offer what I thought were fervent prayers, working, pleading for some direction & understanding, & it just was not coming. I’ve been feeling a little lost.
However, because we are deeply blessed and the power of prayer lies with the one hearing and not in my feeble attempts, mercy was shown and after the trial of faith I received some answers. Let me just say that God is good, & He is kind, & we must believe that He is & that He truly does love us, for if we do not, what good are we anyway.
My answer came & it is this… Hermana Holt, you need to suffer.
I can just imagine Heavenly Father or Jesus Christ, my coaches in life, saying to me, “Hermana Holt, necessita suffrir (you need to suffer). You need to suffer because it will make you grow.”
He wants to cut me down, just as the gardener did to the current bush so that I’ll be able to grow in a way that is more pleasing to Him. Whether it’s the language, or I’m running sprints during gym, or struggling with exact obedience, or diligence, or feelings of selfishness, or homesickness… I need to suffer.
Alma 26:27 reads, “Now when our hearts were depressed, and we were about to turn back, behold, the Lord comforted us, and said: Go amongst thy brethren, and bear with patience thine afflictions, and I will give unto you success.”
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, so that through Him all mankind may be saved”
God so loved the world that He gave His Son so that I could be saved from my homesickness, from feeling inadequate, from the fear of opening my mouth.
I testify that the Atonement of Jesus Christ is real, and that I use it every day, every hour I’m here. I testify that God provides a way for us to do the things He asks of us.
As missionaries, we’re supposed to commit every investigator to something or we fail in our task of inviting them to come unto Christ. Because we’re all investigators & conversion is a lifelong process, I want to ask you to do something. Not for me, for yourself & for the Lord.
Read Mosiah chapters 12-16, & be reminded of Jesus Christ & the role He can & should play in your life. He is my closest friend. I often feel alone here, but I know that’s not true. I am on His errand & with my hand in His, I cannot fail.
Praying for you & con mucho amor,